Friends with benefits.
Do you think they really work? Can you just hook up with someone constantly and expect yourself not to have any feelings at all? In my opinion, nope, you can't.
As much as people like to deny it, being intimate with someone does have a certain amount of feeling involved. Think about it, would you agree to being friends with benefits with just about anyone? You have to at least have a certain physical attraction to the person. I agree, there are some people who actually have had a successful F.W.B relationship. Hats off to you peeps! I think. The way I look at it is that, you're attracted to someone, but you feel that he/she isn't the bf/gf type or you just don't want to be in relationship and need your itch scratched. So you muster up the courage to ask someone if they are willing to be in a purely physical relationship. If you're lucky, then congratulations, you're gonna be
UP ALL NIGHT. If not, its time to enjoy that one relationship that never fails. With your right hand. If you know what I mean. ;)
However, don't you do the same thing when you ask someone out for a date? A YES means that you get a girlfriend/boyfriend to satisfy all your needs and a NO means, well a date with your laptop? So what makes F.W.B so different? You start off by saying
"we're just going to be making out/having coitus (Big Bang Theory reference, what up?!),
nothing else." But without realizing it, you start spending time with that person and sooner or later,
BOOM!
You're hit by the relationship ninja.
I know, you're going to point out all those people who call themselves
"PLAYAS"
. Here's what I believe, as much as you call yourself a
PLAYA or
BADBOY or whatever, once you meet the right person, you would want to stay with them. This probably isn't the best example, but look at Barney Stinson, from How I Met Your Mother. Despite his womanizing ways, he still ended with like 3 long relationships. Yea, he's a character on show, but someone wrote his character, which mean that person believes that people would sacrifice for love.
So what do you do when you're in a F.W.B relationship and catch the
"LOVEBUG"? Do you tell it out or just say you're done with the relationship? Or do you keep on messing about and keep your feelings on the
DOWN LOW? I'd say go for the first option. I mean there's not much to lose. Lets face it, as much as you wouldn't like to admit it, trying to hide your feeling almost never works. Okay, it would work, if you're not banging the person but other that, it could
NEVER work. If you admit it, you would never know if your feelings could be reciprocated. I mean, cmon, more banging! If you get turned down, then hey, it's all good. Plenty of other fish in the sea. Just tell the person, no hard feelings and walk away with your head held high, knowing you were strong enough to open up.
I guess my whole point of this rant is that in my own opinion, friends with benefits don't work. You can't hide your feelings if your intimate with someone. Banging is a meaningful thing. So the next time you think you want to a F.W.B relationship, ask yourself,
"Why did I pick her?" "Why do I want to bang her oh so very often?" if your answer is "cause she's hot" then go right ahead, but after the 5th time ask yourself again.
"The most important parties to attend to are the ones you're not invited to" - Blair Waldrof
xoxo
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