The End Of Paramore?

Hey peeps. You know I would totally blog about this. Yes, Its about Paramore. Don't like it? Deal with it.

In the past, we've heard about the band's near destruction. But what we hoped will not happen has happened. 2 of my fav members have left the band. Zac and Josh. The reason? They said that they felt neglected. Based by their exit statement, I agree. It just seemed as tho Hayley Williams wanted full control over the band. Like she wanted to be star. It broke my heart. I literally cried when I heard it. I'm still not over it to be honest.

Here's what upset me the most. Zac and Josh left the band that they started. I truly feel sorry for them. I remember when I 1st saw them. I wanted to be just like Josh, rocking out on the guitar. He was actually one the reason's why I picked up the guitar. Same goes for Zac. They are two of the most talented people. They rock easily said.

So, whats left of Paramore? Hayley Williams, Taylor York and Jeremy Davis. Is 3 of them enough? To me, they lost their most important band mates. Besides Hayley. And since Josh writes most of the songs.... Idk..

I guess we'll see what Paramore will Offer us in 2011

Obsession : Paramore

So on September 2nd, I heard the most amazing news since march. Cab you guess what it is? Of course you cant! XD My favourite band for the past 6 years was coming to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia!!!!!! The exciment i felt... I literally screamed at 2 am!! I was finally going to see Hayley Williams, Josh Farro, Zac Farro, Jeremy Davis, and Taylor York!! At least, I thought. Till i checked the date, October 19th. A tuesday. I knew its gonna be hard to convince my parents. But I wasnt gonna give up just yet

I begged and begged. You see, the ticket prices were expensive. And being a true fan, I wanted the best seat in the house. Which means i wanted two Rockzone tickets which costs RM358 each. Yea, I was pushing my luck. Obviously, she said no. But I had other ways..

I sat beside the radio. Dialed to Malaysia's No.1 Hitz Station, Hitz.fm!! (I always listen to Hitz so it wasnt any different) But I was listening to it lyk a mad person. Waiting patiently for the que to call. They had many chances for the RM169 tix. But I didnt want them. You couldnt really see them if i was holding that tix. So, i waited for the 5pm que. That was for the rockzone invites. Basically, this is what you had to do. Be the 1st caller through at the que and you automatically get not one, not two, not three, but 4 Rockzone invites!!! Then, you had to sing a Paramore song. Easy. I thought I would play my cover of Decode. I practiced it lyk a mad person. So i called everyday at the que for 2 weeks!! No luck :/

On the last day to get tix, which was Friday. I decided to call in everytime I heard the que. Meaning, even for the RM169 tix. Just my luck, i missed every single one of them. Till came the time to win the Rockzone invites. I closed my eyes, said a prayer, and dialed. 1st time, no luck. after 4 times, i decided to give up. But not being a quitter, I decided to have another go at it. I dialed the number. And I heard a voice

"Hello, Hitz, can I have your I/C number?" said Natalie. My response? "Heh?" She laughed and asked me again. I finally came to my senses that I got through. Then, came the time for me to sing. I grabbed my guitar and started to play. I sang my heart out. The judge loved it!!! I was on cloud nine. I couldnt stop smiling.

Next thing i knew i was on my way to KL. I reached there, and my princess was so excited!!! She heard my singing and everything. :) On monday, i had to go to Astro to pick up my tix. But 1st. On sunday, after a day of shopping, I fell sick. Very sick. I was vomiting, had a very high fever, etc... I couldnt believe it. I was just days away from seeing the band I've been waiting 6 years for, and here I am sick. I just wanted to cry. But thanks to mum for taking such good care of me, I was feeling much better by Tuesday.

We reached National Stadium at 5pm. Having 4 Rockzone invites, we were right in front. And my mum and nessa's mum followed too. We so excited when the gates opened. We ran in, and got the best place. Right in front of the stage!! (Eventually, Josh stood right in front of us when he came out :) 1st up, Malaysian band Y2K. I knew them since i was young, but their awful life. No offense.

Finally, The black curtains go up. I was so happy!!. I couldnt believe it. The curtains drop, revealing Hayley Williams and the band. She stood in her best rock star pose. They opened with Ignorance. Love!! Amazing opening!!! Here's a list of songs they performed.

1) Ignorance
2) Feeling Sorry
3) That's What You Get :)
4) For A Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic
5) Emergency (never expected them to play their older songs but they did!!)
6) Playing God
7) Careful
8) Decode
9) Never Let This Go ( I cried when I heard them performing this!!)
10) When It Rains (acoustic)
11) Where The Lines Overlap (acoustic)
12) Misguided Ghost (acoustic)
13) Pressure (the 1st song i heard from them and made me fall in love with them)
14) Looking Up
15) The Only Exception
16) Brick By Boring Brick
17) Misery Business <3

17 amazing songs from Paramore. Perfectly played with every note in place. Hayley William's voice was just perfect.Her energy was WOW!!! I never wanted to leave. Eventhough, i was so sick and couldnt stand I still loved every freakin second of it!! Especially with Josh staring right at us!!! And my mum likes them now. Don't know if its good or bad but it just shows that Paramore is amazing!!!!!

So here's the thing, on Wednesday, I was still on MC. I was travelling home. And my Malay language finals was going on. When students dont go for their exams, they can re-sit for it provided they have a MC. So, i return to school on Thursday, with my MC and went to meet my teacher. Which told me I was able to re-sit. My happiness was cut short, with the teacher telling me I wasnt able to re-sit cause it was a district paper!!!! I was so pissed off. I mean other school's allow you to re-sit so what so special about this stupid school? I came to school, with literally no voice and fever and yet they still denied me. My mum even went to see them, they told my mum that they'll see into it. Obviously, their so called see into it is closing both eyes for the matter! And then I fought with one of my good friends in school. She said, I made a bad judgement call for going to Paramore. Either way, I would still be on MC cause i was sick. What do you want me to do? Go to school, puke all over the exam paper and come back?? Seriously? I told her, I will never regret going to Paramore. Their music has helped me in ways you dont know. I dont think I would be even around if it wasnt for them. After waiting for 6 years, I couldnt wait any longer. It was the right decision.

So yea, I will never regret going for Paramore. It was one of the best days of my life. <3



Hayley Williams pointing at me :)



during the acoustic set :)




Josh :)

I have more pics but im lazy to upload them XD



That's What You Get :) recorded by me..



decode :)



When It Rains :D

Where is the Love?

So, what the hell was i doing, that made so busy until i didnt even have time to blog (but still had plenty of to facebook) you ask? My answer? Travelling around Malaysia!! Yesh my bro finally came home for his summer break and that when i get to travel alot!!

I got to spend plenty of time with my princesses, Vanessa and Melissa :). I also managed to celebrate my uncle's 50th birthday combined with Xavier's 17th birthday. It was deff a fun time. I also managed to go to a concert (check out the previous blog) which was freakin awesome!!
I also saw my total cute baby cousin, Olis (yea, the names unique :) Omg hes so cute!! But he's big for his age.. He was about 6 months the last i saw him but he looked lyk he was 10 months old!! Which makes me wonder, what has the mother been eating during her pregnancy?? I mean the kid's wait, i mean baby, is huge!! But hes adoreable. And doesnt cry. Something every parent wishes for. Haha.

I also managed to head back to my mum's hometown. Where i spend ages 6-11. Wow that town has certainly changed!! But when i was back there, my whole family came down. (well not whole, but most of them) came down for my grandma's 5th death anniversery. And i realized something.. Something that I'm actually not in any position to speak of, but since this is my blog, where i vent my feelings, I can say it.

Here's the thing, i look at my family (and im talking about my whole family including uncles, aunts and the rest) and see there's no love. Sure there are some who care about each other, call each other everyday etc.. But then there are some who just prefer others to follow what they say. And its this kinda of attitude that causes this crap to happen. What happened to we'll always be together and have gatherings? What happened to all the happy times? Now it just seem lyk all of you are there just cause you have to. And all these people are supposingly to be the example we, the younger ones are suppose to follow. But if this is how its gonna be then I dont think that we will ever go back to the happier times.

Its not about finding a leader, its about LOVE. yesh, that powerful 4 letter word. If all of you actually had love for each other, none of this would have happened. Also, forgive and forget. Those two thing are essential in any relationship. Be the grown ups that your meant be and teach us, be an example. So that we can learn. As a family, we should stick together, look out for one another not push each other down, ignore each other. And also holding grudges. Yesh, that person may have made some stupid decisions but I strongly believe that people can change. Given that they are given a clean sheet of paper. And not being judged as the same person they were. I also believe in forgive and forget. To me those two things make life better.

So i truly hope that my family does have some time to reflect. And just LOVE. Its a plea from all of us kids. We dont want to be hating each other. We want to be a FAMILY. All smiles, no whines, no cries, just the sound of laughther. :D

The (Rainy) World Stage experience 2010!!

Heyy peoples its been too long!! So in June i heard that Tokio Hotel and Katy Perry were coming for a show here. I thought "Omg i have to go before i die of lack of concerts" And at that moment, it was just what i needed. To get away from everything and enjoy a day filled with good music. I decide to go. But what i didnt know that the road to see them wasnt easy. Let's say it was quiet an experience.

Neways On July 31st I went for MTV World Stage live in Malaysia. They had it last year but my bro and i couldnt go. This i got my tix and went. Decided that we wanted the full experience of waiting in line and actually feeling what others felt when they dont have VIP tix. Now that was the most stupidest thing i did!! But it was fun deff.

So Vanessa and I reached Sunway Pyramid (The concert was held at Sunway Lagoon Surf Beach :) at 12. We thought it was early enough.. Boy, were we wrong!! By the time we reached the line it was about 3 m long!! Vanessa was freakin out. We braced the hot sun (mind you, it was super hot!!) and lined up. Behind us came a gurl who was kind enough to share her umbrella. Then we met a gurl who came all the wayy from India!! She wanted to see Tokio Hotel (which was the main reason i went) and all i could think of is wow, her parents are majorly cool. Her dad followed her to Malaysia just to see the concert!! Neways, we talkked while we were sitting in the sun. Then around 3 (Gates were suppose to be upon by then) we were asked to walk to the front and see the outdoor performance of Malaysian bands. I only managed to see Sasi The Don and Prema Yin. We pushed and pushed and managed to get through finally!!!!!

Around 6 we were in Surf beach. Those meanie security guards took away my bottle of water so i had to buy a can of coke (which i hate) for RM5!! total rip off but its the usual concert price.. And suddenly... IT STARTED TO RAIN!! we were provided with ponchos, but i tore mine so i was wet from head to toe!!! So fun!!

Finally, after 6 hours, at 7 pm Bunkface, a Malaysia band got the wet and bored crowd pumped out for the concert!! Vanessa fell in love with them :P They deffinately did rock it. All of us were pumped but then we had to wait almost one and half hours for the next act to come. They were a Korean gurl group called Wondergirls.. which i hate. Their performance was super lame. I get that guys would go krazyy but why was there gurls yelling and pushing??? Just plain weirdness..

At 9 pm TOKIO HOTEL came on stage!! Omg they totally rocked it!! It was so worth it!!! Bill was freakin hawt!! Their show was so awesome. Just when we thought it was over, Bill came out on a bike on stage!! Then they had an accoustic set. Just Bill and Tom.. It was superb Then there was a delay ... again we stood in the rain..
But while we were waiting for even Tokio Hotel to come out, we made some awesome new friends who made us laugh our heads off!! love them <3

At last it was time for the final act, Katy Perry :) she is deff sweeter than candy!! Her show was amazing eventho she was lip singing.. haha. The best part was seeing a huge banana split and cupcakes on stage. Omg it was amazing!!

All in all, after standing for 13 hours straight, MTV World Stage is just one of the events i'll never forget. Made some new friends, saw a band i've been wanting to see and well its a different experience all together. If its back next year, I would totally go if there are decent acts of course. But lets cross our fingers that it wouldnt rain the next time XD

Bunkface rocking it (sorry for the crappy quality, was raining and we were kinda behind, Normal tix remember? )



Wondergirls.. LAME!!



Tokio Hotel!! <3



I dont have any Katy Perry pics. I just a vid of her cause well my phone battery died. Someone needs to invent something!! :P

Moving on?

Hey people sorry i've been M.I.A. for so long.. but i've been super busy. So as you'll know my life been crappy as shit.. so how did i get back up after months of crying?

Well, it finally got to me that there's no use to be sitting there and crying for something when you can have something better. Maybe not better but something less hurtful. He doesn't see how she's hurting him cause he's too in love so if he doesn't want something that doesnt want to hurt him, then what am i doing?

So, i forgot bout it. Got invovled in other stuff. like school. Hanging out wif my gurls. Gotta thank my friends loads. And also concerts. (i'll do a blog bout my Worldstage experience soon :p)

And also some how in all if this i met someone new.. I don't know how it happened. It just did. It isn't great as the one before but it's somehow taking the pain away.. In other words its healing me. And it doesn't hurt that he's insanely hawt!!!! haha

So yea that's whats up. This post might be editted so yea. and THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS VISITED MY BLOG!! KEEP EM' VIEWS COMING!!

He's in sadness so am i

Hey everyone, so today suppose to be my 4 months anniversery. I thought i was gonna be the only one suffering alone. As i was talking to him yesterday, he told me that today is gonna 4 months since we were together. I went into a state of shock. I never expected for him to remember. The fact that he did gives me a bit of hope. Lately he's been down and i could have been a bad person and told him to do the things i want but i didnt. Why? i have no idea.. Oh, wait. Maybe cause i love him.

Everday, this love i have for him grows more and the pain gets even more hurtful. I still fake a smile for him.. i dont even know y im doing this.. :/

I still love you.. n someday i'll get what i've wanted.



hearts this :)

Remain Unchanged

When all hope has vanished and all men perished,
My Love for you will remain undead,
But the moment you stop caring for this love,
This lifeless soul will stop breathing.

Our love is like the way the stars hold the moon,
So secure, so unbreakable,
The moment I met you and your perfection
Your smile was all it took,
To make me know where I belong

I shall remain in my past, the blissful moments,
I shall forever remember till the last,
Cherish forever this memory,
For days come and go, people come and go
But my feelings for you are forever

I will be waiting in the wings,
For my broken wings can't take me to your side,
I promise I will never find another as perfect as you,
And thank you for the life you gave me,
And I shall fight for that again
For that, I shall Remain Unchanged.

I wrote this on 6 June 2010. and i love this :)

Tears, Scars, Hurt and Misery

Hey people.. misery business is what i have going on. Im stuck on this page of my life. And i think i don't want to leave it. Maybe cause its my happy place. And everybody never wants to leave their happy place cause you feel like nothing can bring you down. Everything was perfect. Maybe cause it was the 1st time i was feeling love. Being in love. And everyone knows the first cut is the deepest. He isnt the 1st. but it feels like he is.

Holidays are over. So fast. It was fun though. Shopped till i drop. Literally. well wasnt me but Sierra did fall down. :P Forever 21 is officially my fav shop. right next to Topshop. :) I had a blast with my cousins. But u were still on my mind... *sighs* on the plus side. i did get a hott sexy dress. :D

Well once school starts no more late night world cup matchs for me :( n also the start of my boring routine.

I'm so sorry i tried to let you go. But every time i do that i feel so horrid of myself. guilty. And if i think of you, i feel the urge to just die. Its to hurtful. If you could live in my life for one day. Im sure you would understand. This hurt, scars and tears is for a good reason. And i would trade it for anyone. The time we spend i wouldnt change it forever. it will be cherish in my heart. Eventhough my heart isnt what its used to be.. its broken into pieces. and cant be together unless you do it..

I love you.. i love you once, i still love you n i will love you forever

The Only Exception...

My Addiction.. PARAMORE. Hayley Williams is amazing :)

Holidays are finally here!! I'm so excited that i forgot the introduction... So hey, what up evryone??? So i got a 2 weeks break n my plan is to just shop till i drop (n my parents go bakrupt :P) Other than that, it will be just me hanging out with my gurl Vanessa. Been waiting for song i need my gurl bonding time!!!

Besides that, I've been strangely addicted to The Only Exception by Paramore. As all of you probably know, I have always loved Paramore. Their one of my fav bands out there. But i was addicted to that song then not so but now, its lyk im singing it in school ( as usual my friends would be like "What song is that?" and "I've never heard of Paramore" n i'll be like wow, u guys need a life.. hehe) The worst part, was having that song stuck in my head during my exams!! Imagine doing additional maths n in your head instead of remembering the formulaes all you have is "You are the only exception". Yea, not really helping especially when you have to get an A..

I think i know why im addicted to it thought... Mainly cause, i can normally get over a guy in a month the most... but now its been almost 3 months n im still stuck in the past. And i think i don't ever want to move.. I get a bit of happiness in some sort of way... I've never felt like this about anyone... its like i'm feeling love all over again.. And i know its wrong to love you when your with someone else but i cant fight it. I've tried and tried and yet im still stuck. This feeling is never leaving.

I love you J so freaking much... You are the one for me.. n i'll never let you go ever..

"If all hope had vanished and all man perished,
My love for you would remain undead,
But if the day comes when you saw you've stopped caring for this love,
That would be the day this lifeless soul will stop breathing"

thats a song im writting. actually i wrote but i cant put it up cause its behind my exam paper :P its weird but i always get inspired during exams.. :P well guess my teacher is reading it


songs to listen

Paramore ~ The Only Exception (since the whole post is bout that)
Flyleaf ~ Broken Wings ( beautiful song. cried whn i heard it)
Slipknot ~ Black heart
Skillet ~ Monster



:D

Confused!

Being confused is something i hate. So my life was alrite. but now this person tht i kicked out of my life (my ex, N) wants me back. I don't know whether i should belief him since i lost my trust in him after he lied. But he said, he only dated the gurl to make me jealous cause he thought he had lost me. That proves he doesnt know me cz i aint a jealous person, i so dun fall for tht trick. Anyways, idk what to do. my love for J is never ending. I always love him, but i dont think he's coming bck. Maybe he really did fall in love with her. Its a fact tht i cnt accept.. its too hurtfull. But if his happy then i have to live on with this hurt. I still want him to realize tht we are meant to be. But tht will take time.

So what do i do? Do i wait for the grand prize which i'm not even sure i can get but if i do it will the best thing that has evr happend or do i go for second place, forgive n forget?

"Trust is like a mirror, you can still fix it if its broken but you can still see the cracks on the mother fucker's reflection" <3 tht line lol

New Song! (The New Me)

I’m not the gurl u used to know,
Not tht gurl, frm ur faded memory
Im bigger, I can defend myself now
This is the new me, my new story.

Now let me tell u
What im gonna do tonite

C/h
Tonite imma take a chance,
Go out and break the rules,
And break some hearts for once,
Not feeling sorry after, cause thre aint no forever after.
(Yea) this is the new me.
N imma let it be, let the world see.
This is how its gonna be.

Your lies are not gonna break me down tonight
I’m not going back to you, my past will stay whre it suppose to be
I will fight with my might, and soon you will see
That losing me was the worst thing tht happened to u,

Yeah, this its how its gonna be,
So now let me be, who I wanna be


C/H
Tonite imma take a chance,
Go out and break the rules,
And break some hearts for once,
Not feeling sorry after, cause thre aint no forever after.
(Yea) this is the new me.
N imma let it be, let the world see.
This is how its gonna be.

Sorry boy u missed out,
I’ve moved on, and thres no turning back
I Got my head held high,
No no Im not coming bck,
Go find another heart to break,

c/h

this is the new me, this is my story
and you aint a part of it…

"Dear John" thanks for making me realize. (spoilers for dear john)

Beautiful story..


Hellow everyone. so i had free time on my hands so wht did i do? i bought the book "Dear John" n i fell in love with it. I cnt say i didnt cry. I cried alot while reading it..

Its basically bout this guy, John who had a rough childhood. His dad nvr really gave him enough attention so he became a rebel. He joins the army n thinking tht he has no one to care bout expect for his dad. He doesnt care at all bout wht people think. Every year during summer he gets a 2 weeks break. He was going on until tht one day tht changed his entire life. After surfing, he was chilling. He saw some college students talking. Suddenly, this gurl's bag falls into the water. Without even thinking, he dives into the water n grabs the water. The gurl, Savannah thanks him n invites him for dinner. He follows. soon they discover they are in love with each other. "it only took two weeks for me to fall in love with you" she said. They seem perfect for each other. But John has to return to Germany (hes based there) so they write letters to each other. And everytime thres a full moon, they both stare it. since the day the confessed their love, there was a full moon outside. tht part brought tears to my eyes since their love seemed so strong. They got thru 2 years. until 9/11 came. John decided tht he wanted to continue in the army since he felt thts the right thing to do. Savannah respected his decision, but behind him she fell in love with her best friend, Tim. John didnt know bout this until he received a letter from her. just with tht piece of paper 2 lives were changed. I couldnt help but to cry so much when i read it. n whenever i think about it i still do. John let her go. He comes bck to his hometown when his dad passed away. Now he doesnt have anyone for him. After the funeral, he has no whre to go. so he goes to Savannah house n he discovered tht she's MARRIED. (another part whre i cried) she married Tim (n he has cancer, nice pick) Tim tells John tht Savannah still loves him. and tht if anything happens to him, John should always love her. Eventhough John has Tim's blessing n Savannah doesnt want him to go, he still does. he doesnt want to ruin their marriage. He loved her so much tht he gave her up. n again i cried. but evry night, when thres a full moon, both of them still stare at the moon thinking of all the memories...

so thts the story. y did i cry? it cause i knew exactly how John felt. I just dun get how people when their so in love can lose interest in tht someone. It just doesnt make sense. n giving up on ur soulmate, it worst then death. (maybe a little exaggerating srry) i did tht. i know how it feels. But most of all after reading tht book, i realized my love for N was fake, i nvr loved him. It was J tht i love, n believed tht i belong with him. N was just to recover myself. But after tht was gone. Im left to battle myself. Seing him, holding someone else, kissing her, saying he loves her.. when all tht suppose to be with me. That should be ME. i let him go, knowing tht he would smile n tht would be enough for me to live. Our friendship should be enough. Its not. i break down alot more then i used to. He told me he still loves me. n i'll hold on to tht.

If i could i have one wish, i would wish for one kiss with him. It would be enough to prove to myself, tht he should be with me. it not impossible. for tht to happen. i will do whtever it takes to make tht come true. to bring us together. i know forever is with him.. cause i've nvr mey anyone lyk him, anymore who's personality was just me. he knw all my secrets. n i love him. forever. n im not backing down from tht <3

i love you, J 16 feb 10. i'll cherish tht day forever



B.o.B Ft Hayley Williams ~ airplanes
Paramore ~ the only expection.

Challenges.

Challenges. We all face them. Either at school, work or even at home. You can either overcome these challenges or fall face down in front of them. Us, teenagers face them everyday. Some are strong enough to get through them, some crash and burn thus leading to do doing things that wouldnt even freakin help you (WAKE UP PPL!!) lolx

I face them all the time. I wake up in the morning not feeling like P.Diddy but feeling like Amy Winehouse. (summazised, feeling crap. just love Ke$ha so wanted to give my homegurl a shout out!! ). Get ready for school, if its a schooling day. or else imma be sleeping to noon. hehe. Of course the music player on my phone is at full blast =) cant go a day without music. i just play whatever song im in the mood for. mostly Paramore tho. Once im ready, i get in the car, n get ready for my mum's nagging for 20 minutes. (why the fuck must my school be so far??) She goes on and on about how im not getting straight a's. n this is what i cant take. Parents need to be realistic a little n realize that if your child just started learning the subject there no freakin way that that child is gonna get A+ in the exams!!! And if the child has gotten lets say a B, instead of nagging, u should encourage her. Not nagging n making us feel even more useless. And most of all, DON'T JUDGE. i hate ppl who judge. i mean who are you to say that i'm gonna be a bad person when im away from you? I am me. Stephanie. i don't even know what the future hold for me, so how can you be so sure that you do. Only God does. i just live my life n let things happen (yea, i dun give a damn anymore after what happen) so please save it. Like imma listen. Save the planet by not talking/wasting your breathe, your doing a great thing for mother nature by not producing carbon dioxide. Alrite, so once im at school, i dun really study.. hehe all i do is do the work the teacher gives or sometime i dont =p normally i read.. hey it improves my vocab ok!! during recess, sometimes i eat if i really cnt stand the hungry. Most of the time i dont.. Theres one teacher who always gives me crap. Seriously i think its time u retire!! she's such a perfectionist. hate those ppl. n also judgemental. She made false statements about me, spreaded them to other ppl. So know people think of me according to her. And i hate tht. Lots of students hate her so im not alone. =) She always picks on me. Oh how i wish you were a student, i would been much happier now ;) (im evil, so think of wht imma do lol). I come backk frm skool, watch my fav tv show ever. F.R.I.E.N.D.S.!!! i love tht show.. Joey is awesome!! i need to buy the complete seasons!!! watching tht makes me feel better. Next, i take a nap. (hehe, tired la!!) wake up, kinda study a lil. then sneakily go online (my dad has rules of me using the comp. i can only use it on Sat for 2 hrs) i;m sorry but i cnt live under those circumtanses. most of my frnds r online, talking to them makes me feel better.

href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_7FGV64UrN7w/TB2pOP

And theres one person who i can always turn to when im down, i need him everyday n that is SHANE DAWSON!! i love him n his vids. their epic!! they put a smile on my face. n knowing tht i have something to brightened my day, its a nice feeling. then watch tv a lil, then its off to bed. well fake bed. hehe see my mum thinks im asleep but the truth is im wide awake, reading my books. (story books ah!!) then im off to my lala land =) so thats basically my day.

Its kinda lame but theres nothing to do in this town. After 4 years, its hitting me. There's no Subway, no T.G.I Fridays, No Victoria Station, going shopping? theres no use, cz the choices are super limited!! not good for a shoppaholic like me!! KL is the place for me. My bestest friend, my sister.. Vanessa!! is there. my frnds are there. n well theres alot more to do. School's there are to times better than here. not to say i dont like my friends here, but it would be nice to be friends with ppl who not only care bout studies all the time. n there only two ppl who are awesome here, tht is Harveena n Sirisa. their younger than me. lolx by a year so yea. My best friend in the skool well shes kinda like a geek. sometimes she a bitch. sorry to say it. so yea my life's boring cz of this stupid place.

about my last post, it got a lot of ppl worrying. I'm so sorry guys. I realized tht wht you guys were saying was right. n im happy. I got great frnds (in KL n all ovr the world.) n i love them very much. feel blessed to have them. i have Shane Dawson. haha. i have music. wait, i got side tracked frm wht i was saying. lol sorry. oh yea, great cousins, i know i can always count on you guys. Shout out to Jakeyy. tho we're not really talking as much as we used to, im really lucky i found you, your an amazing friend. and a other krazy person just like me!! hope things can get backk to to usual. cz it was amazing then. bestest friends forever!! lol evn tho u lyk it or not!! =p im kinda sad cz me n my nephew arent talking anymore.. i miss u la krazy guy!! imma hunt you down soon. thts rite your aunty is coming. be prepared. lol. dun worry not for revenge. =) just miss talkin to you.

My whole point of this post is to say tht, Life is full of challenges. It isnt called life if theres no challenges. These challenges come for a purpose. To see how strong we are. Not to bring us down. As we pass through one, it makes us stronger for the next. I've realized this. i've always been a person who never gives up. never lets anything get to me. i let just one small get to me, n i end up becoming a whole different person. But now im backk. And im staying this way. Love is a battlefield. filled with challenges. sometimes you dun surrender because you know once you win, the prize is amazing. But other times, you show a white flag of truce cause its not worth it. People who break your heart are just another stop on this highway we call LIFE. You can face anything, as long as u have people to help, stick by you no matter what. and believe in yourself. Soon another page of my life will be written. College. i cant wait. though i know there are plenty of challenges coming my way, i will face them. I will not be crushed. For i have an awesome army with me. leaded by God =) lol i knw suddenly im holy. not really. hehe.

this is going on for too long... so this is Stephyy saying bye!! love you all very much. Thank you again for helping me. for putting smiles on my face. <3<3 love n respect y'all!!

songs of thee week/month? lol

~ Owl City's album (Ocean Eyes) <------ awesomesaures!!
~Pitbull ft Akon ~ Shut it down (lyrics are awesome!!)
~ Paramore ~ Ignorance, The Only Expection (any Paramore songs actually =p)
~ B.o.B ft hayley william ~ Airplanes.
~Evermore ~ light surrounding you
~ Relient K ~ Who I Am Hates Who I've Been
~ Kings Of Leon ~ Use Somebody
~ David Archuleta'a album!!
~ Justin Bieber's albums!!
~ Ke$ha ~ Blah Blah Blah, Your love is my drug
~All American Rejects album (When the world comes down), ~ (Songs : Move Along, It Ends Tonight
~Tokio Hotel ~ Scream, World Behind My Wall
~The Fray ~ Never say never, you found me
~ Miley Cyrus ~ When i look at you
~rascal flats ~ God bless the broken road, What hurts the most (country but meaningful lyrics)
~Adam Lambert ~ Whataya want from me
~ Taio Cruz ~ Break Your heart
~Boys like girls ~ the great escape
~Black Eyed Peas ~ Imma Be, Rock That Body
~Usher ft Will.I.am~ OMG
~Gavin Rosdale ~ adrenaline
~red jumpsuit apparatus ~ Face do
~trey songz ~ say aah
~ Lostprophets ~ Rooftops. <----- the best song ever.
~Slipknot ~ Snuff.

haha damn lot of songs.. but enjoy. till next time.. love xoxoxo



<3 with all my heart!!





amazing song..

How long more do i have to fake this??

Heyy ppls.. can any1 answer my question?? i knw one person hu can. YOU. answer it. I've faked a smile for u, evn tho i hate her, i kept silent, all the thing i did knowing in return i wud get nothing. Why? cause of 3 words I LOVE YOU. Love is something so strong tht no matter how strong u may be, you will be defeated. It conquers evrything. I just wish you would understand hw i feel. Im only human, i can fake but i have my limits. And im reaching to it. i keep telling myself tht its over.. but my hearts says no you have to fight for it. Im srry i've tried 2 let you go. But i cnt. My love is too strong for me to fight for it.. so can u please give me a chance? i cant move on tho i've tried. No one can love u as much as i did. and soon (i hope) you would realize tht. i want to prove to you tht i am the one for u. Its meant to be. Your my soul mate. n im sure of it. and u said the same thing 2 me. remember tht?? Realize it!! For nw im resulting in DEATH. i cant take another step without u... so i dun see any reason 2 live without you. im srry. if i hurt u. but it didnt really count as hurting u cz i was joking around. I'M SORRY N...... I'LL BE STANDING IN THE WINGS. - jacob black (eclipse)