My new best friend

That's right I got a new best friend. It's not a person, it's ignorance. I know it makes me sound like I'm a total bitch but it's what this world has turned me into. I don't ignore everyone I see, just the one's that piss me off. My ex for an example and my Turkish friend. I've been feeling empty for so long it's too much for me to handle. Whatever I do, I can never feel anything. I want to feel something. Love, happiness or anything at all. I'm tired of sitting here listening to those songs that used to make me feel something. As I'm writing this, I'm listening Paramore's Emergency. I had to write an English Journal for my class so I decided to write about myself. Mainly cause I was pressed for time. As I typed my essay, I teared up. It was so hard writing about all those moments in my life. No one actually will read it except for my teacher but then again she would not know its me. Hopefully. I just don't want to be judged anymore. I spent so many years being judged. I sometimes wonder though, what does my classmates think of me? I know, I'm silent, I don't really mix around. I mean, I can't even get a guy to ask me out. I wish I could gain back the confidence I used to have. But no more relationships, that's for sure. But then again, you don't always get what you want in life. Life's just messed up like me. I just wanna feel again.